Um, Where am I?
by Besma0003
Summary: Kyoko found herself suddenly in a strange world with a slice of pizza in each hands, surrounded by guards, and a man in front of her who was addressed as "your highness". -This is meant for pure laughs, I hope you enjoy it


I hope you all enjoy this story. I had a grand time thinking it up.

I make several references to real word brands, obviously, I own none of them.

* * *

Kyoko was sitting on her couch watching TV. It had been a long day at work. She was destressing by lounging around in her sweatpants and a t-shirt eating pizza. She had chocolate ice cream in the freezer that she was going to have after. Junk food was so amazing.

There wasn't anything particularly good on TV. She left the channel on some talk show interviewing celebrities. She didn't know any of them, she barely paid attention to the latest fads and personalities.

Kyoko closed her eyes letting the sound wash over her. She sat there with a slice of pizza in each hand enjoying her calm evening.

The serenity in her apartment was interrupted by a loud crack. She opened her eyes in a panic only to realize she couldn't see properly. Everything was blurry. Her eyes couldn't focus on anything in her room. She stood up hoping to orient herself. It didn't help. The space around her didn't even look like her room anymore. She was starting to see greenery and different shades of yellow and white. The blurriness was starting to make her eyes hurt so she closed them. When she opened them again, she gasped in shock.

What she saw was not her living room. Instead, she was in some type of rich, flower garden. There were plants she had never seen before with hedges quartering them into different areas. It was breathtaking. To her right was some kind of yellow flower and to her left were white flowers.

She took a few steps back trying to take in the scenery around her when her back pushed up against something hard. She spun around to see what it was. A tall man with dark brown hair and dangerous eyes stared down at her. People were quickly moving around them forming a circle with spears raised at her. _Spears? Who uses spears in this day and age? _She noticed their clothes next. They didn't look factory-made but like some type of centuries old guard uniform. She looked back at the man in front of her. His clothes were white with purple trim. _Didn't purple represent royalty back in the day? _She thought as she tried to make sense of what she was seeing.

"Who are you and how did you get here?" The man before her asked menacingly.

"Um, I'm Kyoko," she said while realizing she still had a piece of pizza in each hand. "I have no idea how I got here. Honestly, I think I must have passed out on my couch and this is all a dream," she said looking back to the man in front of her.

He stood there glaring at her as if expecting her to say more. The problem was she didn't have anything more to say. She was truly clueless as to what was going on. Looking at a slice of pizza in her hand an idea occurred to her. _Food brings people together, right? _She pointed the point side of her pizza at the man as she asked, "want some pizza?"

"I'm not taking anything from y-," he was cut off as bacon pizza was shoved in his mouth. His eyes went wide in shock, and he started choking from the sudden food attack. Kyoko watched his face expectantly waiting for the moment he tasted it.

The guards who had formed a circle around her immediately closed in and grabbed her arms. "Hey! This is perfectly good pizza! Don't make me drop it!" She yelled as one guard tried to take the food from her hands.

While the guards were assaulting her, the man in front of her developed a strange expression on his face. He was finally tasting what she had shoved in his mouth. His eyes were wide as he stared at her. "What is this? I've never tasted anything like," he asked her.

Kyoko grinned. _Success! _"It's called pizza and it just so happens to be my favorite kind. Because it's not delivery, it's Digiorno." She said hoping someone would get the reference. No one laughed. Kyoko started to sweat a little as she looked around at the eyes glaring at her.

"Your highness, are you okay? Did she poison you?" A man came up to the side asking the man in white and purple. The new guy was not dressed as well as the first man but better than the guards.

"No…as strange as it sounds, I think she was just trying to share food," his highness said to his new companion. "I don't think it's poisoned. You should try it."

The new guy looked dubiously at the one he'd labeled 'his highness' but obeyed grabbing a slice of pizza that the guard had taken from her. He bit into it hesitantly. Once the flavors hit him his eyes lit up as he chewed. "This is…this is amazing! I never knew food could taste like this!" He exclaimed.

"Hehe," Kyoko chuckled. "Of course it's amazing. Nothing can compete with pizza!" It was her personal favorite pig out food.

"Your highness, you don't have time to deal with this person. A delegate from our ally nation has come. You must speak to them immediately." The new guy said while continuing to eat the pizza he had been given.

"Of course," the royal man said turning to his guards. "Take her to the dungeon." He walked away leaving her there to be dragged along by the men who had her by the arms.

* * *

Kyoko found herself caged in a prison cell. The floor was stone. The walls were stone. The bench was stone. The bars were probably stone for all she knew. _Ugh, how am I supposed to get out of this mess?_

She had no idea where she was or how she even got there. "This has to be a dream," she said out loud to the space. But whether or not it was a dream, what was she going to do? It's not like there was a tv or radio to help her pass the time. Was she just supposed to sit there staring at the stone? _A woman could go mad like this! If only I had my phone!…wait…_

Kyoko reached into her bra and pulled out her phone. The guards had patted her down to make sure she didn't have any hidden weapons on her but they left her breasts alone thankfully. She unlocked it with her finger and clicked on her favorite app, Sudoku.

She killed time playing a few rounds before she got bored again. _I wonder if there's any wifi, _she thought before the realization hit her. _Wifi?! I should be checking for signal. Maybe I can call 911! _Kyoko quickly tried to call not only 911 but her friends as well. Every time she got the message that the number she was calling could not be reached. She did notice that she had internet access.

"What are you doing in there?" A patrolling guard called to her. Her tapping on the phone had alerted him that something was going on. As he looked into her cell, he saw the light coming off of her phone. "What sorcery is this?" He growled at her.

"Sorcery?" Kyoko asked. "Oh, you mean my phone?" she said holding it up so he could see it. A mischevious grin spread across her face as an idea occurred to her. She pulled up the camera on her phone and snapped a picture of the man using the flash.

He yelped at the sudden light stepping back. Kyoko looked at the picture she had taken and stood up off the stone seat she had been sitting on. She walked near the bars, but not too close in case he tried to attack her. She flipped her phone around to show the man his picture. "I've just taken a picture of you. Some believe that pictures are taken by capturing a part of someone's soul. So what do you think? Are you looking at your soul?" Kyoko asked knowing full well she was terrifying the man.

"What the? What are you? A witch?" The man said right before running away. Kyoko chuckled as she settled back down on her seat.

"Let me see. What can I find on Youtube that's entertaining?"

* * *

Ren was making his way to the cells. A guard had come to him in hysterics claiming that the woman they had captured earlier was a witch and that she had captured part of his soul. Ren pictured the woman in his mind who had shoved the delicious food in his mouth. She had no shoes, strange clothes, and an innocent face. It was hard to believe she was a witch or anyone evil for that matter. But the guard had insisted. So Ren was on his way to check it out.

As he got closer to the dungeon, he started to hear strange sounds. Sounds the likes of which he had never heard before. _What is this? _He entered the dungeon and noticed a few guards right away. They heard him enter and looked at him in terror. "Your highness, we…we don't know," they had no idea how to handle the situation.

The sound he was hearing stopped. A few seconds later a new sound started up. The sound continued for a few moments before he heard the words, "Oppa Gangnam Style." He heard the voice of the woman from earlier saying the words along with a male voice. He also heard her quickly start cackling.

"Come with me," he told the guards as he started walking towards her cell. They didn't have very many prisoners but the ones they did have were terrified. They were in the corners as far away from the sound as they could get. Ren stopped walking when he reached her cell. He was surprised at what he saw. The strange woman who had suddenly appeared before him earlier was now rolling around on the floor laughing so hard that she was crying. She was looking at a mysterious object in her hands that was glowing.

"He~y sexy lady!" He heard from her and the same male voice as before. She convulsed in new fits of laughter as she looked at her mysterious object.

"What is going on?" He asked. He had no idea how to understand the scene before him. The woman in the cell took a few moments to breathe from her fits of laughter and got on her hands and knees looking at him.

"It's…" more laughter, "babies," more laughter. He had no idea what she was trying to say. "Look, look," she said as she got on her feet and approached. His guards got anxious and lifted their spears at her as she approached the bars. Ren motioned with his hand for them to relax. He didn't know what was going on, but he had a feeling the woman meant him no harm. She turned her device so that the glowing side of it was pointing at him. Ren couldn't believe his eyes. Images like real life were speeding across the scene. Almost as unbelievable was what he was seeing on the object. Babies wearing some type of shoe with wheels and dancing most remarkably. Something seemed a little off about them but they looked real. He found himself mesmerized watching the events unfold before his eyes.

"What is this?" He asked finally managing to pull his eyes away from the screen. He looked into the eyes of the young woman holding the object. Her face was full of mirth and her eyes were wet from laughing so hard.

"It's a phone and this is a video on youtube. Welcome to the internet!" She said. Ren had absolutely no idea what anything she said meant.

"What magic is this?" He asked her.

"It's not magic. Anyone can use this," she told him. "Look, touch the screen with your finger. It'll pause the video."

Ren looked at her unsure. He lifted his hand and quickly pressed it where she had pointed and just as she said, the movements on the screen stopped. "There, you paused it!" She said smiling.

"How do you have that on you? Didn't my guards search you?" He asked her.

"Of course, they did. But I'm used to living without pockets. So I had it here," she told him as she pulled open the collar of her shirt and shoved the object inside. Her hand came back out object free.

"What?" Ren said with his eyes bulging. He would have blushed at what she had done if he wasn't in so much shock.

"It's in my bra. Your men didn't check my breasts," she said while putting two fingers in the air with a smile on her face. This time Ren did blush.

Her smile quickly faded as she stumbled suddenly. "What? It's happening again," he heard her say. It became difficult for him to look at her. His eyes couldn't focus on her. He heard a loud crack causing him to flinch and look away. When he looked back at the cell she was gone.

* * *

Kyoko woke up laying on her couch with the TV still going. "So it was all just a dream," she said as she sat up. She put her hand to her head trying to steady herself. The dream had been rather disorienting at the end when everything in her vision had gone blurry again. _I need a glass of water, _she thought as she stood up and went to get something to drink.

She didn't even notice that two slices of pizza were missing from the box on her living room table.

* * *

I really hope you all laughed at least a little reading this. I laughed so hard I made my stomach hurt when I thought of the ideas for it.

The video I referenced can be found on youtube by searching Gangnam style babies.

There is definitely room for a real story to develop from this but what I've written is the only thing I'm interested in. I won't be writing anymore on this. However, if someone else would like to take this idea and run with it, please do. Just let me know so I can read your story!

-Besma0003


End file.
